Death by Smoothie
The Bewitched knockoff I Married a Zombie may have flopped in its day, but it’s got a devoted cult following. Jaine is delighted when one of those rabid fans hires her as a script doctor for his new play based on the show until she reads the awful script and meets Misty, the actress who’ll be playing Cryptessa’s role. Misty has Audrey Hepburn’s doe eyes but not a smidgen of her ability. Yet she can certainly act the diva, demanding a special smoothie daily at 3:00 pm. Meanwhile, Jaine is grappling with another spoiled female, her uncooperative cat, Prozac, refusing to be wrangled into a kitty harness for outside walks.
When someone spikes Misty’s signature drink with a fatal shot of rat poison, the cast of suspects extends far beyond the theater. What Misty lacked in talent, she made up for in enemies. Everyone Jaine talks to maintain their innocence, but one of them is clearly only playing the part. And it’s up to Jaine to figure out who before a killer schedules an encore performance.
The Details
Series: A Jaine Austen Mystery Book – Book #19
Author: Laura Levine
Genre/Category: Cozy – Amateur Sleuth/Writer
Publisher: Kensington Cozies
ISBN: 1496728165
Page Count: 240
Rating: 
The Review
Cryptessa is alive and well again, which should never have happened. That I open up this review with those words should warn readers that I did not like Death by Smoothie. There is no mystery in this cozy mystery; there are no likable characters, and what would have been humorous thirty years ago is no longer funny unless you have the maturity of a pre-adolescent boy.
When the main character, Jaine, is hired to doctor a script based on an old TV character, Cryptessa, and the director hasn’t got a clue what he is doing and hires the first girl to flirt with him, you already know nothing good will come from this writing job. Jaine isn’t a great character; I honestly have not disliked another fictional character as much as Jaine. She has not grown even a little after nineteen books. She has the mentality and maturity of a spoiled rotten kid who never learned self-control. But as hard as it is to believe, she isn’t the worst character in this story. That distinction goes to her neighbor, Lance, who is even worse than she is! If he is her idea of a friend, I would hate to see her enemies. Jaine doesn’t care what she looks like; she is overly obsessed with food and has never been right about any of the suspects or the motives for any of the murders she has investigated. If this were real life, she wouldn’t be able to get a job writing anything, not even a jingle for plumbing supplies.
The killer, and who reading this book, didn’t know the identity of the murderer right from the start; it was as obvious as… well as someone screaming it at you from two inches away? The motive for the killer, besides writing an extremely bad script based on Cyptessa, a character from an old tv show that no one wanted to see when it was new, and most would assume based on this alone that he would be the victim, was just too simple and unrefined. Death by Smoothie isn’t at all original or funny. There came a point while reading this book when I hoped Jaine would be the next victim and that the killer would get by with murder in her case.
I can’t recommend this book or series as much as I would have liked. I do not find the main character to be funny, smart, or even interesting, and that applies equally to all the other returning characters. You can add as many poison smoothies and bad TV characters such as Cryptessa all you want; it won’t change the fact that overall, this book and series has outlasted its fun factor by at least seventeen or eighteen books. I am happy to say that I won’t be reading any new installments in the future.
The Author
Laura Levine is a former sitcom writer (The Bob Newhart Show, Laverne & Shirley, The Love Boat, Three’s Company, Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman). As an advertising copywriter, she created Count Chocula and Frankenberry cereals for General Mills. Her work has appeared in The Washington Post and the Los Angeles Times. Laura grew up in Brooklyn, New York, back when mastodons (and Edsels) still roamed the earth and attended Barnard College. When she isn’t working on a new book, Laura likes to read, swim, garden, and take lots of walks.
Other books in the “A Jaine Austin Mystery” series include Death of a Gigolo and Murder Gets A Makeover.
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